Book Recommendations for Couples


 
 

The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real

In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right!

Women have changed in the last twenty-five years–they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.

 

Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.

In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

 
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD

John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

 

After the Honeymoon by Daniel Wile, PhD

After the honeymoon. The very words carry a burden of sadness, as if for a short while we lived in a golden trance of love, and now we’ve been jolted awake. Immediately comes the thought, “Oh no! Is this the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with?” When choosing a partner, we are choosing, along with that person, a particular set of problems that we will be grappling with for the next ten, twenty, or even fifty years. Dan Wile shows how to take advantage of the inevitable problems that occur in a relationship to deepen the sense of connection. Most of these problems result from feelings we are unable to express and conversations we are unable to have. We become angry because we are unable to confide feeling hurt. We become defensive because we are unable to confide feeling threatened. We become uncompromising because of the hidden compromises we are already making. Exposing these undercurrents can turn fights into intimate conversations.

 

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Simple ideas, lasting love

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

 

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.

 

The Mindful Couple by Robyn Walser, PhD and Darrah Westrup, PhD

All of us want to be fully accepted in our relationships, yet it can be difficult to fully accept our partners for who they are. This insightful guide for couples is based on a simple concept: Act out of kindness, love, and acceptance, and you will open your relationship for the creation of greater kindness, love, and acceptance.

With strategies drawn from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a powerful therapeutic approach, this book will help you identify your core values and discover, as a couple, the beauty that is available to you and your partner when you bring greater awareness and values-guided behavior to your relationship. Each chapter explores a key issue, such as passion, fidelity, and the balance between dependence and independence, and includes specific practices you can do alone or with your partner to help you build a vital relationship.

 

Receiving Love by Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen Hunt, PhD

Harville Hendrix has illuminated the paths to loving, long-lasting relationships in his New York Times bestsellers Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. Now, with coauthor and wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, he brings us to a new understanding about one of the most complicated issues facing couples today.